The Birthday Party

So, I’ve planned a birthday party for myself at the local Irish Pub.  I’m itching for some Bangers and Mash, and I know everyone will enjoy the beer and music. 

The same thing happens every year for my birthday, and as a result I’ve not tried to have a party for myself in ages.  It’s the middle of the summer.  Half of my friends have vacations or things planned.  One friend will be at a baseball game, a few friends are out of town.  So the party will be small.  Small is not to be confused with bad, but still I get disappointed none the less and I don’t know why.

The other issue I had with planning this was who to invite.  I did the lazy thing and used Facebooks Event Calendar to create the invite and spam almost everyone I know!  I hesitated over whether or not to invite those friends that are still close with the ex.  The reason being is that he’s not been too mature about our breakup and has spread a lot of lies about me.  He’s done his best to make me sound like a lunatic who hears voices and can’t let go of him.  The last message I got from him accused me of making up reasons to contact him, as he was sure I was sitting at home pining away for him.  (sigh)  He’s obviously pretty self centered, but that’s fodder for a whole other post. 

Today I’m thinking about those friends that I lost in the divorce.  Some of them I just don’t try to talk to anymore, as I know they’ve gotten some pretty inaccurate info and I don’t want to make them feel awkward by trying to straighten them out.  If they were good friends  they wouldn’t believe that crap anyhow.  A few friends I know have felt as if they were put in the middle and while we have tried to keep our friendships in tact, it’s been strained.  One friend in particular is married to a good friend of the ex, so she hears “his side”.  Long ago we made an agreement that she would consider I’m not that crazy before believing everything her husband brings home, and I’d just not discuss him with her.  Our relationship has suffered, though.  This bothers me.

Mostly, what I don’t understand is why he’s still bitching about the divorce like this.  Why is he making this stuff up and trying to dirty my image?  Why must the friends be divided up between the 2 of us?  Again, fodder for another post.  And so, there were some people that I didn’t invite, and I’ll miss them tomorrow night. 

But, tomorrow is a birthday party where I’ll see some friends that I’ve not talked to in a while.  I’ll see some other friends that I’ve seen as recently as last week.  And hopefully I’ll just have a good old fashioned time drinking some beers with everyone…all my divorce woes behind me, and celebrate without any of the former inlaws around, and no one to make me feel badly about anything.  BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT I DESERVE, DAMNIT!

Happy Birthday To Me!

Today I am 38!  Yikes.  2 years from the big 4-oh.  My daughters gasp at the sound of that.  They recently told me that when you turn 30 your butt wrinkles.  WTF?  Where do they come up with this stuff?

Since today is the anniversary of my birth it seemed fitting that a new blog should be born. 

I’ve been wanting to get back to blogging.  A couple years ago I had a blog that I considered fairly successful.  I found some bloggy friends and they helped me through my divorce.  I don’t know how many followers I had, but I got what I needed out of it.  Therapeutic journaling and some supportive friendships.

I tried a second blog after my divorce was final and I was ready to start a new chapter in my life.  I found myself completely uninterested in keeping up with it.  It was not successful.

I love to write.  I want to write about my life.  I need to get back into the practice of writing.  My blog was such a good friend to me I know this will be good for me.  So here I am, starting again.  A new blog is born.  Happy birthday to my blog and happy birthday to me!